Our Days are Numbered

That's my dad. My hero. The guy I've looked up to and wanted to be like for as long as I've been alive. I'm blessed: no bad memories, no heinous mistreatment, no neglect... only love. Dad's never felt anywhere near perfect. Much as I love him, I'd never say that he's perfect. But I do believe he's always done what I'd like to do: his best.

Dad and mom now live with my brother Tim and his wife. Mom's fought alzheimers for several years and sufferred a major stroke as well. Dad's suffered a major stroke and numerous minor ones. As a family we've struggled through with trying to learn how to watch our parents slip away from us a little at a time. It's never been fun. Dad and mom will never be who they once were. They think more about Heaven, than healing. Each time I'm with them I'm remembered- in no uncertain terms -that our days are numbered.

My wife Debi and I try to spend some time each Friday with mom and dad. Debi usually washes and does mom's hair while dad and I hang out togehter. Sometimes I'll read aloud, other times we'll just shoot the breeze, we've always enjoyed being together- that hasn't changed. Last Friday Debi suggested I take Dad out to get a haircut- so the boys hit the road for our adventure.

Dad doesn't remember where he lives- has vague recollections of certain streets as we cross town -and had little clue where he would get his hair cut. I remembered where he use to get it cut, we'd been there before. So after a short drive, dad was up in the chair getting a great cut and relaxing hair wash and scalp massage. The guy did a great job, all for $8- for the cut, $3- for the shampoo. No wonder the place was packed!

Walking out, we decided to sneak away for a cup of coffee and piece of pie. Two guys cleaned up and out for the afternoon. Half way through our pie, dad looked up at me and said: "I feel bad doing this without your mom." We called over our waitress and ordered a pie to take home to the rest of the family. Guilt assuaged, we wrapped up our adventure in peace.

Simple events- afternoons I once would have avoided, just to stick to my "schedule," I now look forward to. They've become highlights in my week. Moments I look forward to. We've been given a gift, a reminder of a truth we all know but avoid every day, our days are numbered. Knowing that my times with mom and dad are now at a premium, I hate to let one of them pass by. The guilt of not being with them more, of not doing more, can be overwhelming... somedays I feel like the guilt is greater than the sadness... then I have a Friday afternoon, like last Friday, and all is well... for awhile.

To those of you I love, that share my life through this blog, thanks for loving me, wish we had more time together. To those of you that love my dad and mom- thanks so much for your prayers and support- I know they've lifted them and us up at times and in ways we'll never understand. Each of us need to remember, every moment, to honor and love one another, to appreciate the moment. Our days are numbered and we've been blessed - He's given us today.

Eric